Godly Play is "boring".

A pastor friend recently e-mailed me who has a Godly Play program now in its third year. There is concern among their team about Godly Play getting "boring" for some of the children hearing the stories now for the third time. Below is most of the response I sent.

(My grandaughter Emma)

Have you ever encountered this issue?
How did you respond?

Dear Friends,
I want to commend you on your ongoing work and reflection on your time with the children of your church using Godly Play. I am always impressed with the contact you maintain with each other on your team. Your weekly e-mails to each other reviewing the session and talking about issues is exemplary.

I wanted to comment, with your pastor's encouragement to do so, on your concern about repeating the same stories now for the third time in your Godly Play program and your concern that your children are getting bored because they have already had these stories. I think your concerns are very valid about recognizing a change in the older children and their need to go deeper.

The best way I know how to talk about this is how Jerome talks about Godly Play as a language – a language to make meaning - to name, wrestle with, and make meaning out of our own existential issues (loneliness, freedom, death and the need for meaning). Like learning any language, The first few years of doing Godly Play is just learning “the sounds and words” – learning the scripts and the gestures and the wondering questions and how we are with the children. I have been told it is similar for children in Montessori schools that the first years are about getting familiar with the materials – how to get them out and put them away and use them. But we all know the difference between being able to repeat key phrases in another language and being fluent in a language. Any Godly Play program after the first few years is challenged with this key transition from learning the language basics to the stage of language development where a level of fluency allows one to begin to actually make meaning and express and dialogue using that language. Godly Play is often seen in a very limiting way as a great method of storytelling – and it is that to be sure – but it is so much more – much, much more. It’s about learning to use that language. I believe that you are at a critical juncture in your program where you have a level of fluency after doing Godly Play well for almost three years now. You have very bright children in a community that encourages authentic questions and you know how to host those questions.

So how does this translate into some practical “how to” specifics??
Godly Play truly is a spiritual practice and like any spiritual practice – it’s about practice. And language development is a gradual, ongoing, regular practice of using that language. I was recently at a wonderful church in Austin, Texas, the Church of Conscious Harmony. (check out their website and read about their Godly Play program). They have been doing Godly Play for 10 years or so – 60 people on their Godly Play team, half of them men and half of them women, beautiful classrooms each with a prayer corner because centering prayer is very much a part of their community and a deep commitment to growing along with Godly Play. They told me that for years there had been a mass exodus from church when children entered adolescence and young adulthood. But they are experiencing in the past few years an exploding youth group of children who have come up through Godly Play and have experienced something that is compelling and meaningful and has given them a sense of belonging that is evidenced in the health and size of their youth. Their "practice" of this language has resulted in a "fluency" where these kids are finding it to be meaningful and valuable.

And yes, there are resources about using Godly Play with older children that are helpful. A number of our trainers have given extensive time and reflection on how to use this practice. Kim McPherson in Denver at St. John’s Cathedral spends a whole year using the Creation story. Check out her SOWhAT (Story, Outreach, Wonder, Arts & Theology) class that she does with older kids. (sjcathedral.org ) There is good information in volume 1 of the Complete Guide to Godly Play in making object boxes and there are helpful suggestions throughout the volumes on how to deepen the lessons using side-by-sides and synthesis lessons. Another part of this conversation at some time needs to engage volumes 6 and 7. They are ENRICHMENT lessons – not the same as the core stories of vol. 2 – 4. They are not to be used as just more stories. But that is another conversation. While not minimizing the need for practical suggestions I want primarily to speak about more of the “unspoken lesson” which is always at the heart of Godly Play.

As always in Godly Play, the first place to check when there are challenges is to check ourselves. Where are we in our own practice? Are we using this language ourselves? How is the language of these stories being integrated into our own experience and journeys of faith? Do we authentically come to these stories expecting to find God in some new way for ourselves? I recently participated in a Godly Play enrichment day where we took the story of Exile and Return and spent the whole day with that story – first of all just experiencing a full session – then engaging that story with our own stories – laying our own life journeys next to that journey as a side by side to see what that story had to say to our own stories. Then we explored what that story had to say to us about our Godly Play classrooms. We as adults needed to enter that story in new ways ourselves. Getting together periodically yourselves, building a circle, hearing a lesson and engaging it personally is a great practice to be able to hold the stories for our children in an open way - being convinced ourselves that they are timeless, and always new because we ourselves are always in a new place. The attitude of the adults in the room to these stories is such a critical piece. The storyteller’s own attitude towards the stories creates the emotional and spiritual space that is available to the children with these stories. What happens sometimes in programs is that children are often more fluent in this language than the adults in the room. It is important for programs like yours to have adults that have been using this language as long as the children have. You are in a good place together to explore this next stage.

After checking ourselves, it is right that we are observant and reflective about how this is for children who have heard these stories for several years and you are accurate I believe in discerning that they want to have more. But again a reminder that Godly Play is not about just knowing information and getting more of it – as interesting and helpful as that might be – but about a language to engage those core life issues that are a part of all of our lives. (Having said that, it is important to have good resource materials – but not overly burdened with them – in your classroom for older children.) Another piece of this picture is about the wondering and the queries that are used. Wondering is also an art – and it just takes practice – practice at listening to the children – practice in discerning what the thread of conversation is and how to nurture it and encourage its development and expression and to genuinely be convinced that each child has their own deep experience and intuitive knowing so we truly are not the teachers but fellow travelers together. This takes much practice and trusting of this process. But it is such a critical piece – not just knowing the right wondering questions out of the book but about hosting and holding the wondering of the children. And of course so much of all of this is about relationship. Relationship has to be established and it is so strong in your circle.

This is much too long but I want to support you all in whatever way I can. I entrust you always to the care of the Good Shepherd who will show you the way and you have all you need to recognize that voice.

Peace.

Caryl